A routine episode in the life of a dermatologist
So, I have a teen with a bit of acne. Yes, most teens do
have acne. No big deal you would think. But this particular teen has a
dermatologist for a dad and a sharp tongue (chronologically in that order, but
in terms of effectiveness the sharp tongue is scores way above the dad).
“You see this one here?” she was ranting, pointing to a
small bump on her left cheek “It’s
huge…bigger than your big paunch”
I looked at my paunch and then the zit on her face. I was
pretty certain the paunch was bigger, but well…
My wife who was eyeing the interactions on the sidelines was
about to grab the opportunity to join the conversation and steer it towards the
more sensitive issue of her husband’s paunch (paunch= laziness X (no diet
control+ no exercise)……blah blah blahn…..hence proved). So, I deftly
shifted the focus back to the core, national emergency of unresolved acne
““Did you try the gel I gave you?”
“That doesn’t work” At least no one can accuse her of being
vague or ambiguous.
“It usually takes a bit of time to work” I said, rolling my
eyes
“Well, I was kind of hoping to get rid of acne before I get
my senior citizen pension” Sarcasm. Scathing, acidic sarcasm. Wonder where she
gets it from. I glared at my wife, she glared back. I looked down. She won.
Life as usual.
“OK, I’ll give you another cream, let’s try with that”
She, suddenly rushed to a mirror and started looking at her
own face with a wicked smile. Maybe she realized that the acne was not so bad
after all. Then she shifts the direction of her wicked smile to me “Nothing,
was just checking if I look like a guinea pig. Apparently, the mirror does not
think so”
I looked at my bitter half pleadingly for help, assuming
that after being married so long she would get the message via telepathy.
Didn’t work. No telepathy and not an iota of sympathy for the beleaguered
‘pathy’. The wife on the sideline was actually smiling wickedly too. Some kind of
highly transmissible mutant grin.
Before I could add anything in my defense the bitter half
jumped in “Completely agree with her. I have been asking you for a good
sunscreen for ages, and everything you give me ends up making my skin all oily
and looking worse…. sometimes I think you do it on purpose!”
The thought of messing up her skin purposely did induce the
beginning of a wicked smile in my mind too, but considering the volatility of
the situation and the raving lunatic
banshees involved, I suppressed my smile.
“Ok, I’ll give you another sunscreen, let’s try with that”
Family déjà vu time
There was a brief moment of silence.
“Maybe it’s not the cream, but the dermatologist that we
need to change” Says the mother in a deadpan tone, followed by mutually
addressed guffawing between mother and daughter
PS: The most challenging patients for a dermatologist are
probably the one’s in their immediate family, especially if they have something
on the face. These characters are the ultimate double edged advertising board
for a dermatologist. Quite a few of us have a tendency to underplay skin issues
of our immediate family, and that is something we should consciously avoid
doing. So, I guess, just as charity begins at home, good dermatology care also
begins at home!
