Nadia's Diary : Off to school :(

My first day at school (Smiling through difficult times was always one of my strengths)


With great power comes great responsibility…..I really don’t mind a little bit of power but am not awfully interested in the responsibility stuff.
Anyways ,if you thought I was bitten by a radioactive bug and started spinning spider webs, you’re far from the truth.(Though I still do manage to spin a few webs around my stupid parents, and incidentally I was actually bitten a few days ago by some cute leeches, courtesy my nutty father’s idea of a holiday in a rain forest in the middle of the monsoons….unfortunately they weren’t the radioactive type and didn’t give me any superpowers…it would have been kinda interesting though, I could be one of those anti-hero/ine things …maybe they’d call me the blood-sucker girl!!).
Coming back to the more serious issue..thing is I have been rather unceremoniously dumped in a horrible,horrible place called SCHOOL …..and SCHOOL sucks. Period.
I did try a bit of the old ‘cry yourself hoarse till they give in’ trick with my parents, but those stonehearted idiots didn’t bat an eyelid before they sentenced me to school.
As if to soften the mental trauma and sheer agony, the idiots who run this joint, call this arrangement a ‘play-school’. If the idea was to play,why bother with the school part?I mean I play enough back home, so why institutionalize the whole thing?It’s like that place called jail, they send dudes who do bad stuff….what bad stuff did I do??Since when is growing up a crime?
Now every morning I have to sacrifice my beauty sleep and get decked with a stupid ,very uncool bag (pink color with shiny Barbie pictures….yech!!totally not in vogue…but that’s what happens when you have a couple of dumb, unfashionable creatures as parents) and get dumped in that depressing place. I have started having that thing they called Monday morning blues…though this place gives me the blues all days of the week except the weekend.
The only good thing is that there are quite of a few us like- minded suffering pre-schoolers in this dump and someday we hope that we can throw of the yoke of these imperialistic, fascist so-called teachers. We tend to have great stimulating exchanges too ( we exchange words, flu viruses and of course occasional pinches and slaps when the word exchange parts don’t end up in a consensus).
Those teacher things haven’t started with the ABC,123 stuff, but one dude who’s been inside for some time before me, warned me that the unpleasant stuff would be coming soon.As of now it’s all fun and games….a big façade I suppose, before the real torture starts.
Anyway , I just don’t get the point of this education thing.My dear old mum and dad apparently had to study till they were like really really old …and they’re still dumb enough to buy me a pink Barbie bag to take to school and as far as I know they don’t have much dough in the bank either…apparently education doesn’t do much to make you more sensible …or rich.On the other hand lookit all those politician people in our country.Stinking rich, no education.So what the heck is the bloody point??
I rest my case.


(Nadia is my 4 year old daughter,prematurely blessed with an attitude of a teenager)

Yes we can! (Nadia's diary -5)

There are some days which kinda change your life dramatically..something like waking up from a hypnotic spell on the cue of a finger snap.(Actually that snapping stuff  happens only in the movies I think).Anyway yesterday was one of THOSE days for me….the day I got my first Churidar!!!!(See attached pic) It goes without saying I looked uber-cool (kind of like that word whatever it means), but more importantly it made me realize that one of the essential rights of under-5s is the right to dress with dignity and style (not necessarily in that order).Think of it ,when it comes to dressing we are mute spectators to our overbearing mothers (crazy fathers sometime joining in this sadistic pursuit).How many a times have we been subjected to frilly yellows and garish pinks and been gawked at following this ceremony  with shrill choruses of ‘oh cho chweets’ and other such condescending ,primitive gibberish.Under 5s of the world unite….it’s time to rebel (Anytime is a good time to rebel at our age…but that is another matter)…you can’t pick your parents (though you should learn to pick ON them),but you can certainly pick your dresses!!and if you don’t like the  silly garbs your dumb parents foster upon you…throw,tear,crumple,destroy…use any constructive technique to drill   your viewpoint into their thick-heads.Remember violence is not just an option…when it comes to weirdo parents, it is the ONLY option!!!Rebel in style ..to dress in style.As that Obama guy put it ‘YES WE CAN!!’

(nadia is my daughter - actual age 2 and half years,mental age - 2 and half years, attitude - somewhere around 18 years)

The world through little eyes ( Nadia's diary :2)

Didn’t do much this week in terms of evolution.Still rotting in the creep crawly stage.Get a bit depressed when I see dudes my age standing up ,some crazy geeks even walking.I’m going to try harder from today….er …tomorrow ( C’mon I don’t want to be labeled a type A personality like my crazy dad,besides if the whole idea behind this walking thing is transportation ,I do manage to get around anyway. What are papa’s and mama’s shoulders for anyway ?besides both those guys are badly in need of some exercise )

I learned to talk a bit .Mama and Papa haven’t yet learned to decipher my eloquent speech though. Talk about dumb parents. They still think I am just trying to act cute with my ga-gas and goo-goos. Geez guys…as far cute goes ,do I even have to try ??hee hee.

I’ve decided that I want to be a politician some day . I may even make a great president one day.Papa says that ,female presidents are the in-thing these days .Papa says that these politician characters can get away with anything including murder.I do manage to get away with quite a few things now (including murder ,if you include some bug families I’ve massacred by rolling on them )…but I suppose that’s coz I’m little.Things will change when I’m older.Already ,I’ve started getting generous mouthfuls from mama for silly things …like not doing ‘it ‘ in the potty.I’ve tried to warn mama that she should learn to control her hot temper ,god knows she may be contributing to that global warming stuff Mr.Bush et al rant about. Mama actually believes that pottyfying is the in thing…..some kind of style statement I think. Bullshit is what I say……. The other day we went to a super market..and guess what? Every half hour mama dearest was peeking into my diaper to see if I had pooped…..this in complete public view.Boy..embarrassing would be an understatement.I mean imagine how mama or papa would have felt if I kept on peeking into their diapers to see if they’ve pooped??!

Another thing I hate is when those old aunties and uncles ,zoom into my little face and debate earnestly on the issue of who I resemble more – Mama or Papa.” Ooh she has papa’s nose” or “Aah she has Mama’s eyes.Honestly ,dudes ,they make me feel like some kind of cloned hybrid animal…..like that chimera something guy those greek idiots mention in their crazy stories..I mean ,gimme a break..don’t I have a bit of individuality.Besides both Mama and Papa look funny ( to put it very mildly and with a lot of effort not to sound disrespectful )

Anyway…will be back with more important issues affecting the baby community.Hasta la vista baby!

(nadia is my 9 month old daughter...just waiting to be a teen)