I turned 7 today ..not 7 years dude…...months
I’ve learnt to crawl on my knees. I’ve also learnt to lick the floor without mummy seeing. Believe me ,licking the floor beats crawling any day. Mama doesn’t seem to agree though “Dia (which is supposed to be short for Nadia which incidentally is such an old fashioned name my parents chose ....we’ll elaborate in detail regarding that injustice later)……Don’t do that” is her constant refrain.The other day I tried eating a cute little bug crawling in my cradle….and there she was again with “Dia …don’t eat that”followed by a rather crude tap on my sensitive posterior. God…..hasn’t she heard of the food chain and all that stuff ??Big animals will eat smaller ones etc etc.
I hate diapers.Diapers are simply not cool.Huggies or snuggies they’re all the same.Wonder how papa and mama would feel if I wrapped them up in a huge diaper ?I mean ok …I do have a problem with pissing around in odd places at odd times…but for heaven’s sake, have piss , will piss…..why make such a social issue out of it?.I’ve heard adults honking on about how you shouldn’t hold anything back ,feelings and stuff …,wonder why piss is different.Just thinking about these adult contradictions gets me pissed up!
I hate Cerelac too.I simply don’t understand why the idiots in the R and D wing out there don’t do something to make it more tastier and baby friendly.I am certain that this is all part of a bigger conspiracy against little babies.I mean I do love ice cream ,papa gave me a teeny weeny bit once..yummy!! ,but not again…something about ice cream not having any nutritional value blah blah blah.Dude..one simple thing I’ve made out in my lifetime’s experience is that the more the nutritional value the worse the taste.Say no to nutrition.One little piece of advise I can give you guys is learn to be firm with your parents.I tried refusing cerelac at first with polite and timely turns of my head ,but mama always managed to stuff it into my little mouth forcefully (PS :shouldn’t there be something like the Geneva convention thing for babies ?).Nowadays I’m more resolute in my refusal, I’ve learned to spit the cerelac right on mama’s mouth and my aim is getting better each day.I’ve heard mama telling papa that she too hates the taste of cerelac these days.Talk about getting a taste of one’s own medicine and all that!
I love watching TV though….the news channels are my favourite.Papa has a rather serious look on his face while watching the news,which is strange coz I find it very entertaining ,especially that Laloo Yadav character..much better than cartoon network or pogo .I like MTV too…I love that joker with a cap who could give an inferiority complex to a wolf….Himesh something something.He rocks…our wails are so much similar.At full cry we both manage to get on mama’s and papa’s nerves, he does it a bit better though.
Bye for now.Will be back with more news from the cradle.
(Nadia is my 7 month old ,going on 8 daughter )
(Special acknowledgement to Ms Manjul Bajaj for inspiration…her writing rocks! )